What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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