lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
