You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
