she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
