Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
