She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You took a bar mat shot.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
