Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
