i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
