One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
