I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
