but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
