I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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