Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
