He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
