yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
