I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
