More tranny stories later!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
