super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
