We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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