there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
