Buhtt sex?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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