Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
