What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
