I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize