Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I hate all girls vehemently.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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