i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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