porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
