Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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