Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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