There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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