Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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