I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize