it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
