You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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