I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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