we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Boobs are out for the taking
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
