And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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