Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
