yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
