I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
