This gyro tastes like lonliness
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
