You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
