you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
