nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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