omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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