i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He felt like a one man threesome
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
