Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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