Her vagina should come with caution tape.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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