he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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