I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
