pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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