The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize