Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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