My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
