You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I stole a fireplace last night.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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