I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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