He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
