apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Randomize
