I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
