Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize