Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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