people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
