My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
