If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize