He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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