what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
