all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
