There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
