He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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