They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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