the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
