Pants 0. Shit 1.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize