just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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