I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
