have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
