I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am midnight drunk by noon
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass š¤·š¼āāļø
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Never thought Iād use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was āTits On A Stickā.
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