dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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